Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
