Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
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