I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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