all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
