Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
