Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
