It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I FOUND THE LEGS
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
