My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
