nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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