There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she pinky promised me she was 18
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
