he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
