I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
