So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
