Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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