Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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