It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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