a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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