i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
