she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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