Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
false alarm. still invincible.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
