Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
