fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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