im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
