she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
