wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You are the jesus of drinking
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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