i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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