Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
