sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
