who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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