the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Im part way to drunk.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
