chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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