hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
