Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
