I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
