My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
