It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
