The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
