I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
