"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
