You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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