i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
