This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize