My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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