office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
