I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
