no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
