Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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