He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
