There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
