All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
