I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
