her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
