forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
