they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
