SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
